The Invisible God

I work as an occasional chaplain at Strong Memorial Hospital. Our chapel was built in the 20's, I believe. It was built as an Interfaith Chapel, with no religious doctrinal decorations. But in their naivete, the donors and builders erected a worship area that faces north, and in beautiful Tiffany glass tesserae, applied the 23rd Psalm to the liturgical east wall.To us in the 21st century, the attempt at "interfaith"fulness was sincere but unsuccessful.

I spent some lengthy time there as I wrestled with my membership in the Episcopal Church. I believed God was calling me to parochial ministry, but the Diocese, in the person of the Commission on Ministry and the Canon (man) who led it, did not agree, so I was cast aside. As I sat grieving the loss of my happiness and anticipated fulfillment, I noticed that the workmen who applied the mosaic had not made the golden background random. Like many of the eye exercises making the rounds of the internet, where you can see Marilym Monroe and Albert Einstein in the same photo depending on hw near or farsighted you are, I began to realize that there is a message in the tiles. There are four or five shades of gold, but in one section, the lighter pieces spell out "I am with you."

I have pointed it out to several people, and some can see it and some cannot. There are days when I am unable to see it myself, but I am convinced that it is there.

It struck me that we believe in an invisible God, one who does not make himself known, in part because that would limit God, and play into our limited perceptions. But like the message left for me and for many, God speaks to us, not in riddles, but through others and in a way that we have to be prepared to receive.

Someone bustling in to "do" a worship service, busy with preparations, setting up the podium and microphone and turning on the broadcast system would not notice God's presence. Nor would an overwrought relative, seeking comfort in a group of worshipers. But the solitary person, sitting quietly, asking God for the grace to accept what must be accepted, might see the message. And once seen, it is always there, even if the eye does not perceive it.

My faith is like that. It took me more than a year to understand that God had not played a trick on me, nor had the Church betrayed me (although they treated me badly) and that I had not been psychotic or egotistic. But as I sat quietly and contemplated, as I calmed and asked, I heard that still small voice saying that I had rushed to conclusions and had gotten lost. "I am still with you." "I am faithful." "I love you." and most important, "Your efforts to please me please me."

I bless that workman who did not randomize his material 90 some years ago.