January 22

morning of self-care. Studied being lazy, chose not to vacuum or clean.

Area Chaplains' meeting, Eli's wife Leah is gravely ill. I really identified with his responses to our inquiries. He assured us of his network of support, he emphasized his need to regain regularity, he expressed gratitude for our prayers, and went into teaching mode over finding her a new name. I also got a lecture about not being able to fulfill a minyan because I identify as a Christian.

Cephas meeting, Jim repeatedly emphasized my value to the group. I bet Mike said something about my capability as a group leader following the critique that talking about a Rochester house was "false hope" for the men at Groveland. Mark asked me to carry his good wishes to the men there, I agreed to try to establish a connection with Parole through Mike Bell. I also stuck my head into the Vestry meeting and got called on to explain PRAM to them. I felt drained when i got home. When will I be confident and self-assured? Lord, how long must I feel like a dormouse?